Dating Advice as Told by Batman

Author: Tony Iliakostas, The Dating Game

Batman, who has been dubbed the world’s greatest detective, has it all.

He’s a successful businessman by day, he’s got fancy tech, he takes down crime, and of course, he’s a heartthrob to most women who encounter him. Whether you’ve read the comics, watched the animated series, or even watched old and new cinematic renditions of Batman, the Dark Knight teaches us lessons about dating that may be useful to those looking for love.

Be yourself
Many would probably think that Bruce Wayne suffers from some type of identity crisis. He’s a playboy billionaire by day, and a masked vigilante by night. Yet, if you know anything about the Batman story arch, Bruce Wayne isn’t some person who doesn’t know who he is. He has embraced the Batman moniker to rid Gotham of crime, which he himself was a victim of when his parents were mercilessly killed before his eyes as a young boy. The same outlook should be applied to dating. Don’t put on a proverbial mask to hide your true colors. Dating is about being yourself. You want your date to know who you are, and what you stand for. Adopting this mindset will make the dating experience a lot easier.

Moral support is vital
Batman has sought the help of many accomplices and sidekicks throughout the history of this comic book. His most noteworthy is Alfred Pennyworth, Bruce’s guardian and right hand man. It’s Alfred who serves as the voice of reason, and a beacon of wisdom when Bruce dealt with inner personal or moral conflict. The same goes for dating. If you’re in a relationship where you’re uncertain of the direction it’s going, it’s totally natural to go to close friends and family who you confide in, and seek their guidance. Likewise, if your dating relationship is going really well, share the praise report with them too. Just remember that not everyone has your best interests in heart. Make sure that whoever you talk to is someone who you genuinely trust.

Teamwork makes the dream work
Batman didn’t fight Gotham’s foes on his own. Whether it was the Boy Wonder Dick Grayson, Jason Todd’s rendition of Robin, or Barbara Gordon as Batgirl, Batman knew that the help of others would ease the burden of fighting the worst of the worst villains. And of course, Batman’s embrace of teamwork expanded beyond Gotham when he became a founding member of the Justice League, DC’s version of the Avengers. Dating is very similar. The success of every dating relationship relies heavily on the contribution that each person in the relationship makes. Whether it’s paying for a night out every once in a while, or lending an ear during a meaningful conversation, there should be equilibrium in the relationship. Every happy and thriving married couple will tell you that their marriage has lasted because each spouse worked in tandem as a team.

Relationships can be complicated
If there’s one thing Bruce Wayne and I have in common, it’s that we have dated our fair share of women. Whether it was Vicki Vale, Dr. Chase Meridian, Rachel Dawes, or even Selina Kyle (yes, the Catwoman), Bruce consistently fell in and out of love. Perhaps his lack of commitment to women was superseded by his obligation to protect Gotham City. Nevertheless, if you’re one of those people who has dated many guys or girls, and you haven’t found “the one” yet, rest on the laurels that neither has Bruce Wayne. Don’t consider yourself an outsider simply because you’ve spent so many years in unsuccessful dating relationships. This is a normal feeling, and the time will come sooner or later when you meet that one person who will take your breath away.

More experience makes you better and smarter
Batman became a better and stronger superhero as he encountered more villains, upgraded his technology, and acquired more experience as a crime fighter. Dating is very similar in this regard. The more people you date, the more you’ll understand your wants and needs in life. You’ll meet people who are good for just a coffee date. You’ll meet others who you hope to foster a long-lasting permanent relationship with. But this will only happen as you grow older and continue dating people.

If you’re single and itching to get back in the dating scene, my hope is that the advice above will inspire and motivate you to do so. And if The Penguin dares to interrupt your dinner date, you know what to do.

When You Need to Get Out of Your Own Head

Adulting, Author: Michelle Ioannou

Bad things happen. And unfortunately, sometimes they consume us more than we want them to.

It’s so easy to get lost in our own heads. To go into this downward spiral where whatever happened becomes all we can think about. Whether it’s just being broken up with, getting into an argument with a friend, not getting the work promotion you wanted… bad things will happen in our lives, and will continue to happen as we grow older.

Unfortunately, it’s not always easy to shrug it off like we used to be able to do. Things affect us differently as we grow older. The big things consume us. And sometimes, it feels like there’s no escape from them. Just when you start to think that you got it out of your head, whatever it is just comes right back.

It’s hard, it is. It’s hard to get things out of your head that are truly bothering you. But, it’s not healthy to focus on the bad and the hurt. It’s much easier said than done, I know, but let’s be proactive about getting these thoughts out of your head.

Submerge yourself in work
Distraction is key, right? Of course, we all need time to wallow and get what’s bothering us out, but we cannot let it be our sole focus all day, every day. Using work as a distraction allows you to submerge yourself into something that will require your brain’s full attention. Plus, assuming you work outside of your home, being around other people won’t give you as many opportunities to have time to sit and go over everything that has happened.

Talk to someone
Of course, talking to the person who contributed to whatever’s going on in your head is a great help. But, it’s not always possible, and not always healthy. Reach out to a friend. Tell them what’s going on in your head. Having someone listen to you and your thoughts helps get things out, and shows you that you’re not going crazy, and you’re not alone. If you don’t feel comfortable reaching out to a friend, or feel like you need to speak with someone with more of a professional background, go do that. Schedule an appointment with a therapist. Talking to someone about the situation, and what’s going on inside your head, is important.

Get outside
Be active — whether this is in the form of going outside for a run, taking a walk throughout your neighborhood, or planning dinners and happy hours with your friends. Staying home alone will allow your mind to just keep going back to said issue. However, if you’re out and about doing things and keeping busy, your mind will be too focused on whatever situation you’re in the midst of to think about anything else.

Write about it
Get it out of your head and onto a piece of paper. Don’t just leave your thoughts to rattle along in your head — they need an outlet to escape. And then, for ultimate cleansing, feel free to crumple the piece of paper and throw it away, or maybe toss it into a nice fire pit.

Read a book
A book is always a great way to forget about reality, especially when your mind is racing with thoughts you genuinely can’t focus on. Get lost in a book of your choice. Leave your own story for a bit and join this character’s story instead. Your brain will be too into what’s going to happen next in the book, there won’t be time for it to think about all of the “what ifs” and “how did I end up here” of your story.

Focus on the good
I can guarantee that even if it feels like there’s nothing good in your life right now, you can most definitely find something to make you smile for a few seconds. Even if it’s as small as having ice cream that day, that’s something to be grateful for, and something to switch your attention to. It’s so easy to get lost in whatever it is that’s hurting you; make a conscious effort to try and divert your mind.

As You Get Older, Birthdays Become About More Than Just Gifts

Author: Emmanuel Pepis, Real Life Stories

Celebrating a birthday in your twenties and thirties is quite the different experience than it once was. I, as I’m sure many of you have, flashback sometimes to the birthday parties I used to have when I was a kid. As I’ve gotten older, each passing birthday has magnified something even more: how the best gifts truly are intangible.

I was never big on receiving gifts. When I was younger I didn’t ask for much. And on my past birthday, I didn’t receive any gift that you could put in a box. What I did get was the gift of precious time well spent.

As you celebrate a birthday in your twenties and thirties, it more often times than not includes needing to go work. This can cause us to complain, because who wants to spend their birthday at work? But I switched my perspective. The whole day was really all about the blessings that I’m thankful for each day.

In a twist of events, I ended up not having to go into work. It should be a cause for celebration; however, the day started with taking my mother to her knee surgery. But, while I was waiting around, I got to hang with my dad. We went and ate lunch together, and just had fun. When I left to go get my mother, I was thinking about the whole day that had just transpired.

It’s true what they say: each moment with the people you love is never to be taken for granted.

Sure, it doesn’t sound like the most exciting birthday in the world. But this was special to me for reasons that can’t be seen but rather, felt in my heart. This day was special because I was blessed with intangible presents, and it’s a day I will always hold dear.

This birthday was unique just like each one before it. By the end of the day, I didn’t have any gifts that I could see or touch. That didn’t matter though. What did count was the quality time I got to enjoy, and am blessed to continue to have every day.

A birthday has been described often as “our special day.” It’s more than that though. We aren’t here without a mother, a father. We aren’t the people we are today without the guidance and support of the people in our lives whether that be a grandparent, a sister, a brother, a spouse, a best friend, or whatever the case may be.

The best gifts truly are the people who you get to share my special day and every day with. The people who have made an impact on my life. The people who have helped make me the person I am and strive to be every day. I couldn’t ever ask for more, and neither should you.

Now don’t get me wrong. Birthday parties and celebrations are fun. However, this older birthday was another example to me of why the best things in life are those you can’t tear the wrapping paper off from. Use birthdays as a reminder to be grateful for everything you have in your life. Use birthdays as a day to spend time with your loved one. And use birthdays to put your life into a positive perspective.

When You Have to Be the Bigger Person

Adulting, Author: Mary Grace Donaldson

We’ve all been there. When you’ve been angry at someone for an extended period of time. When you’ve been hurt and not able to face the person who hurt you. When you can’t stop being angry and sad, and you’ve presumably stopped speaking to the person in question — romantic interest or through a friendship — to protect your own heart.

But then one day, you get the news that something awful is happening in that person’s life. Maybe it’s illness — their own, or a family member’s. Maybe they’re dealing with a death in their family. Maybe they just got laid off. Maybe they’re going through a breakup or a divorce. But whatever it is, you realize that you haven’t stopped caring for the person.

And it’s time for you to pull yourself together, swallow your pride, and reach out — in spite of your anger and your hurt.

It’s not going to be easy
You may feel scared. Anxious. Nervous. Any number of words for it. If you’re anything like me, you hate the feeling of having to swallow your pride and ignore your own stubborn instinct. But you know that it’s something you have to do, and that if roles were reversed, you’d expect said person to do this for you.

Try not to overthink it
Listen to your gut — as the saying goes, “that bitch knows what’s up.” Don’t waste time thinking too much about what you’re going to say and how you’re going to say it.

Just do it
Don’t wait until you’re ready, because you’re never going to be. You have to just go for it.

Don’t bring up what made you angry or sad
This one may seem like a no-brainer, but… remember: this isn’t about you. If there’s a reason down the road to discuss what happened before, take the opportunity. But, that opportunity is not now. This is about them, not you.

Recognize that you’re doing the right thing
The right thing isn’t always easy. Heck, knowing what the right thing is isn’t always easy, forget about actually carrying it out. But once you’ve done the right thing, chances are you’ll feel it in your body. You’ll feel a sense of calming.

Don’t get your hopes up
While you may reconcile with the person in question following your reaching out and in fact doing the right thing, it’s possible that you won’t. And that’s okay. You didn’t reach out at this moment to reconcile. You reached out to be there for someone who’s going through a hard time.

No matter what the outcome is, you will be set apart from many of your peers just by being the bigger person. And that’s something that, at the end of the day, you can be proud of.

Are You a Married Millennial? Here Are the Podcasts for You

Author: Kerrin Frappier, The Dating Game

It’s a tale as old as time — two people meet, they fall in love and eventually they might decide to marry.

For millennials, dating and socializing in the 21st century has its setbacks but also its advantages. Marriage for millennials is no different. One such advantage is the various outlets for advice and discussion available to millennials. Here are some inspiring, thought-provoking and down-to-earth podcasts married millennials should have a listen to.

Hitched
As is commonplace on many podcasts, this show presents its audience with new topics and guests contributors every week. Recent topics include: “dealing with resentment..”, “managing time and your marriage” and “how to improve your marriage with technology”.

I Do Podcast
Catered toward “young couples”, this bi-weekly podcast is brought to you by a married couple and the relationship experts they interview. They dive into such topics as “how Netflix can improve your relationship” and “dividing housework in a modern relationship”.

The First Year Marriage Show
For those in their first year of marriage, there is a podcast produced just for you and your spouse! It chronicles common struggles newlyweds encounter such as moving in and living together, financial issues (i.e. student loan debt), establishing effective communication and family planning.

Millennial Marriage Podcast
Could it get any easier? A podcast created and hosted by a pair of married millennials! Despite not having new episodes currently in production, the archive of older posts are full of moments any millennial (married or otherwise) could relate to.

#staymarried Podcast
This blog is home to an author who is prepared to share the ups and downs of marriage in her podcast, and invites guests to share their experiences and guidance as well. The creator of the blog has also published a book on the same topic.

Save the Marriage Podcast
When a marriage is facing hardship, Dr. Lee H. Baucom seeks to teach couples “how to save your marriage and improve your relationship.” This podcast focuses on personality conflicts that can effect communication and the importance of working on problems individually and as a pair.