Dating Advice as Told by Batman

Author: Tony Iliakostas, The Dating Game

Batman, who has been dubbed the world’s greatest detective, has it all.

He’s a successful businessman by day, he’s got fancy tech, he takes down crime, and of course, he’s a heartthrob to most women who encounter him. Whether you’ve read the comics, watched the animated series, or even watched old and new cinematic renditions of Batman, the Dark Knight teaches us lessons about dating that may be useful to those looking for love.

Be yourself
Many would probably think that Bruce Wayne suffers from some type of identity crisis. He’s a playboy billionaire by day, and a masked vigilante by night. Yet, if you know anything about the Batman story arch, Bruce Wayne isn’t some person who doesn’t know who he is. He has embraced the Batman moniker to rid Gotham of crime, which he himself was a victim of when his parents were mercilessly killed before his eyes as a young boy. The same outlook should be applied to dating. Don’t put on a proverbial mask to hide your true colors. Dating is about being yourself. You want your date to know who you are, and what you stand for. Adopting this mindset will make the dating experience a lot easier.

Moral support is vital
Batman has sought the help of many accomplices and sidekicks throughout the history of this comic book. His most noteworthy is Alfred Pennyworth, Bruce’s guardian and right hand man. It’s Alfred who serves as the voice of reason, and a beacon of wisdom when Bruce dealt with inner personal or moral conflict. The same goes for dating. If you’re in a relationship where you’re uncertain of the direction it’s going, it’s totally natural to go to close friends and family who you confide in, and seek their guidance. Likewise, if your dating relationship is going really well, share the praise report with them too. Just remember that not everyone has your best interests in heart. Make sure that whoever you talk to is someone who you genuinely trust.

Teamwork makes the dream work
Batman didn’t fight Gotham’s foes on his own. Whether it was the Boy Wonder Dick Grayson, Jason Todd’s rendition of Robin, or Barbara Gordon as Batgirl, Batman knew that the help of others would ease the burden of fighting the worst of the worst villains. And of course, Batman’s embrace of teamwork expanded beyond Gotham when he became a founding member of the Justice League, DC’s version of the Avengers. Dating is very similar. The success of every dating relationship relies heavily on the contribution that each person in the relationship makes. Whether it’s paying for a night out every once in a while, or lending an ear during a meaningful conversation, there should be equilibrium in the relationship. Every happy and thriving married couple will tell you that their marriage has lasted because each spouse worked in tandem as a team.

Relationships can be complicated
If there’s one thing Bruce Wayne and I have in common, it’s that we have dated our fair share of women. Whether it was Vicki Vale, Dr. Chase Meridian, Rachel Dawes, or even Selina Kyle (yes, the Catwoman), Bruce consistently fell in and out of love. Perhaps his lack of commitment to women was superseded by his obligation to protect Gotham City. Nevertheless, if you’re one of those people who has dated many guys or girls, and you haven’t found “the one” yet, rest on the laurels that neither has Bruce Wayne. Don’t consider yourself an outsider simply because you’ve spent so many years in unsuccessful dating relationships. This is a normal feeling, and the time will come sooner or later when you meet that one person who will take your breath away.

More experience makes you better and smarter
Batman became a better and stronger superhero as he encountered more villains, upgraded his technology, and acquired more experience as a crime fighter. Dating is very similar in this regard. The more people you date, the more you’ll understand your wants and needs in life. You’ll meet people who are good for just a coffee date. You’ll meet others who you hope to foster a long-lasting permanent relationship with. But this will only happen as you grow older and continue dating people.

If you’re single and itching to get back in the dating scene, my hope is that the advice above will inspire and motivate you to do so. And if The Penguin dares to interrupt your dinner date, you know what to do.

Sometimes, You Need a Break From Dating Apps

Author: Michelle Ioannou, The Dating Game

The title of this is so 21st century, right?

But, it’s true. Sometimes, you need to delete those dating apps right off of your phone. Not forever, but for a little while. Give yourself a little break. Stop worrying about needing to respond to someone in 24 hours, or accidentally swiping left on what could’ve been the love of your life. Stepping away from dating apps for a short, but extended period of time, can be beneficial. And, it can help you feel a bit better about the thought of dating.

But, when is it the right time to delete these apps? Well, don’t just do it for the heck of it. Or because you’re annoyed someone hasn’t responded back immediately. Do it because you need to.

You’ve become cynical
How many of us have gone months and months of swiping, for pretty much nothing? Sure, you’ll talk to someone here and there, but it doesn’t go anywhere. You may have even been asked for your number, and have started texting… but then, nothing progressed there either. It’s so easy to get discouraged if this continues to happen. Taking some time off from swiping right before you get lost into a “why doesn’t anyone want to take this to the next step” situation could definitely be beneficial.

You’re just not into it right now
No, regardless of the pressure you may feel from your family members, you do not have to be putting yourself out there all of the time. You’re allowed to take a break from “the hunt,” and that includes taking a break from dating apps as well. If you’re just not into it, you’re likely to be indifferent anyway, which could mean swiping left a bit more than you normally would. Delete the apps for a little, until you feel like you’re ready to get back into the dating game.

It feels like a chore
Going on dating apps feels more like an obligation rather than something you want to do? “OMG if I don’t spend a half hour every day on Tinder/Coffee Meets Bagel/Bumble/etc. how am I supposed to find someone?” No, you cannot think like that, and you shouldn’t. Dating apps are not supposed to be a chore; they’re there to help you find someone — on your own terms, when you want to. If it does feel like an obligation, you’re likely to be pessimistic about the entire experience, and not opening your eyes (and your heart) like you should.

You feel like all you do is swipe left
There has to be at least some people you’re kind of sorta maybe interested in. There is no reason to solely swipe left, or swipe left 90% of the time or more. If this is happening, something else is going on — and that very well could be that you’re just not into it right now, or it’s feeling like a chore. Going on and swiping left to everyone truly is not going to do you any good, but a break from dating apps will.

It has taken over your life
Like all things, you can (unfortunately) become addicted to dating apps. No! This is not something we should become addicted to! No addiction is good, and one to a dating app likely wouldn’t be beneficial. If you find yourself needing to check Coffee Meets Bagel at exactly noon every day, or if you find yourself obsessing over why that really attractive person you matched with has not responded to your message, take a step back. Nip the obsession in the butt before it gets any worse.

“Why is dating even considered a game? It’s not about winners and losers…”

Author: Nicole Chininis, The Dating Game

World: I’m about to tell you something that you may not like, but I can guarantee about 99% of you will agree with: The games we play while we’re dating are dumb.

You know exactly what type of games I’m talking about. The “I’m not texting them again until they text me,” or the “I had an amazing date but I’m not going to contact them for two days because I don’t want to seem too eager,” or last, but not least, the “Text them to say I don’t think this is working out? No thanks, I’ll just ghost them.”

You all are probably saying to yourself, “You’re right. Games are dumb. I hate playing them and they don’t get me anywhere.” It’s true, but yet, next time you go on a date, you find yourself second-guessing texting your date that you had fun… because you don’t want to seem weird. And yes, I know this because I was that person. I see my friends doing this. We all play into our insecurities, and these games are the exact way that we protect ourselves from dealing with the doubt that comes along with dating. But, I’m here to call you out on it, and tell you that games are dumb.

Straightforwardness is attractive
Straightforwardness is one of the most attractive qualities a person can have. It’s so refreshing when you don’t have to second-guess what someone is thinking. I want someone who also doesn’t want to play games. If you had fun on a date, and want to see me again, tell me. If you like me, make it known. I understand that sometimes people aren’t sure what they want in a relationship, but you know what? Tell me that. Why? Because at least I can navigate how I feel about that situation, and determine what’s best for me. So, tell the truth, and be straightforward about your intentions.

People who are scared off because you seem too eager are not worthy of you
Look, we’ve all been there. You start to talk to someone and love the back and forth banter for days, but then say to yourself, “I’m not going to text first, it’s their turn.” Wait, what?! Their turn? Why? Generally, it’s because you don’t want to seem too eager and scare them off. Well, this is dumb. It’s dumb because you deserve better than a person who is scared off by text messages, or a phone call, to ask you out again. What’s going to happen when real, actual conflict happens? Ugh, I can’t even imagine. Nonetheless, you deserve someone who actually enjoys talking with you, and appreciates you and your “Morning, how’s your day starting off?” texts. You simply deserve the best.

Games are a waste of everyone’s time
Dating is hard enough as it is, and we don’t need to make things more complicated. By playing games, we’re just simply wasting time, when we could be with a person who likes the fact that you’re not toying with their heart. Doesn’t that sound nice? Cut the crap by texting them when you feel like it, or asking them on a date again because you want to see them. Ultimately, cutting to the chase makes it easier to make decisions on how you feel about the other person, instead of getting your hopes up about something that is dragged out, and isn’t really there. Make it known: you’re not trying to waste your time or their time.

You’re being unfair to yourself and the other person
If you play the dating games like many do, you’re doing yourself and the other person a disservice. Give yourself a chance to do things right, and be honest with yourself and the other person. If you don’t feel like you’re making a connection with that person, please don’t ghost them. Simply tell them that you don’t think it’s working out, but you wish them the best. Wouldn’t you want to be treated the same way?

Relationships, as Told by Memes

Author: Mary Grace Donaldson, The Dating Game

Millennials, it’s important to be happy in your relationships. To love each other, to accept each other, to agree to disagree, and to make compromises for one another.

But, there are always some aspects to any relationship that everyone who is or who has ever been in a relationship can relate to — so relatable that they’re funny.

When you finally get totally comfortable with each other

And you know that you’ll never be judged for anything, no matter how weird you are,
how ugly you look in the morning, or how gross your bodily functions can be.

When you know what will always stop a stupid argument

Reacting in the heat of the moment will do nothing. Screaming at each other will do nothing.
But, kissing, that makes both things stop happening, and is much more fun, too!

When you can’t wait to brag about your person

Sure, you’re a little nervous, which is completely normal.
But you’re only nervous because you want your friends to think
your S.O. is as awesome you think he or she is.

When yes, something is definitely wrong

And you may have to play a little 20 questions to try and find out the real reason for that face.
But, by this point, you know that face, you know what it means, and you know how to go about handling it.

When you’re not sure about PDA in front of family

No matter how long you’ve been together, there usually tends to be an element of
“omg not in front of your parents!”

When you decide to move in together

One of the truest testaments of a relationship — surviving Ikea together.
Moments like this make you realize just what different people you are.
But, this is what makes you love and respect each other even more.

When you’re in a long distance relationship and are tired of pretending
that there’s anything good about long distance

You can’t go out to dinner. You can’t spend all night Netflixing. You can’t see your significant other
whenever you want. Where’s the good in any of this? Unless you’re one of the few that below
that distance makes the heart grow fonder, there’s nothing at all good.

When this is all you want to do all day

Because you’re so comfortable with each other that there’s really no place you’d rather be.
There’s no need to go out clubbing or bars anymore. Why do that when
you can snuggle (and more) in bed all day?

And finally…

The basis of any strong relationship.

7 Perks of Single Life

Author: Mary Grace Donaldson, The Dating Game

There’s a lot to say about being single, starting with the fact that sometimes, it’s rough.

It’s very easy to look at the downsides of the “single struggle.” Online dating can be a minefield. Actual dates can be disastrous. You may be the only single friend left in your group. You get frustrated, angry, and upset.

But, what if we looked at the “single struggle” as not a struggle? Because not only is it okay to be single — sometimes, it’s downright convenient and easier. Take advantage of the single life, don’t dwell on it!

Your schedule is yours, and yours alone
Want to go to happy hour with your coworkers on a whim? Or to an all-day music festival with your friends? You don’t have to check any schedule other than your own. You can pick up and leave and do whatever you want, without having to think of someone else. You can be gone all day, every day. No significant other means truly getting to do what you want, when you want to do it.

You control the remote
If you want to watch Hey Arnold! reruns until you fall asleep every night for a week, go for it. If you want to rock out to *NSYNC every time you’re in the car, go right ahead. While compromise is important to any good and healthy relationship, it’s also nice to not have to compromise — even on something as trivial as what Netflix show to binge this week (hint: you get to pick). And sometimes, it’s nice not to have to compromise and only think about TV, movies, or music that makes you happy, without having to consider anyone else’s preferences.

You pick your meals
As the saying goes, “a couple is just two people sitting there debating what they’re going to eat tonight.” Not single people! Try out that taco lasagna recipe you’ve been scouting on Pinterest for a week now. Order Chinese food one night and pizza the next. You’re picking for one, you’re preparing for one, you’re ordering for one, and you’re eating for one. Meals are significantly less complicated for single people. If you want breakfast for dinner, have breakfast for dinner. It’s all up to you.

You can enjoy your family even more
When your family is the only family in the picture, you don’t have to split holidays and other important occasions. You won’t run into those potentially complicated situations, when your cousin’s high school graduation is the same day as your significant other’s cousin’s wedding. You’ll be able to attend graduation and enjoy it. Plus, you can take advantage of spending quality time with your family that you might not have otherwise.

You have more time for self-care
When you’re single, you get to focus on you. In a relationship, you’re very rarely alone except for those times when you’re both at work (and you’re not even really alone there). If you’re single, you’ll have more time to yourself — and since your schedule is yours to manage, you’ll be able to allot time to take care of yourself. You can stay in on a Friday night with your adult coloring book without having to feel like you need to spend time with anyone other than yourself.

You’re able to travel
You can travel when you want, where you want, and when you want, and with who you want. You can travel with your friends, your family, or even yourself. You only have to plan for one, and you get to choose the location. You don’t have to coordinate vacations with a significant other. And since you’re not “tied down,” if you want to hop on a plane tomorrow and get lost for a little bit, you can (just check with work first).

You teach yourself independence
You are taking care of yourself, and you alone. And that’s truly a beautiful thing, and it’s truly a great skill to have. You also become very good at entertaining yourself, and you become comfortable with being by yourself. You build confidence just in knowing that you’re self-sufficient, and can handle life on your own.