relationships

Being Lied to In a Relationship Really Messes You Up

No, it’s not easy, and you have every right to be angry or upset. Lies, especially in relationships, suck. In a way, it sets you up for disaster.

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You trust someone wholeheartedly. There’s no way they could do anything to betray your trust. You feel entirely comfortable with them. You tell them everything. You’re more open with them than you’ve ever been with anyone.

And then you find out that you were lied to.

No, it’s not easy, and you have every right to be angry or upset. Those are entirely normal reactions. But, being lied to, especially in a relationship, more than just sucks. In a way, it sets you up for disaster.

 

You no longer open up
How can you open up to someone now knowing there’s a chance you’ll just be betrayed again? Instead of risking this, you keep your guard up. You don’t reach out to others when you probably should, you don’t open up about anything, and you keep everything to yourself. You don’t want to relive that pain of being lied to, and why should you have to go through that again?

You question everything
“Wait, but how can this be true if this, this, and this happened?” You start not being able to take anything at face value anymore. There has to be some sort of catch, some sort of backstory, or some sort of other information that you’re not being told. You begin to overanalyze everything, even if you weren’t one to over-analyze things to begin with. But now, you have to. You have no choice, really.

You’re angry with yourself
You cannot believe that you didn’t catch the lie. That you could be played the way that you were played. That you ignored the red flags, ignored asking the right questions, and just accepted what you were told, because you trusted them. You cannot believe that you were so blind, and so foolish. You’re determined not to let that happen again.

You feel like you don’t know anything anymore
You always thought you could trust your views and thoughts on people, but now, how can you? It truly is like you know nothing anymore. You don’t know who you can or can’t trust, you don’t know who you can or can’t open up to, and you don’t know if someone is just going to come around and bite you in the butt once again. And the most frightening part? How can you trust yourself, after you were played like a fool?

You don’t easily trust people anymore
And that sets you up for failure in future relationships — both romantic wise and friend wise. A relationship needs to be built on trust, but unfortunately for you, you’ve been burned in the past. It won’t be easy to overcome this and start trusting people again. And that obviously has quite the negative affect.

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