“Why is dating even considered a game? It’s not about winners and losers…”

Author: Nicole Chininis, The Dating Game

World: I’m about to tell you something that you may not like, but I can guarantee about 99% of you will agree with: The games we play while we’re dating are dumb.

You know exactly what type of games I’m talking about. The “I’m not texting them again until they text me,” or the “I had an amazing date but I’m not going to contact them for two days because I don’t want to seem too eager,” or last, but not least, the “Text them to say I don’t think this is working out? No thanks, I’ll just ghost them.”

You all are probably saying to yourself, “You’re right. Games are dumb. I hate playing them and they don’t get me anywhere.” It’s true, but yet, next time you go on a date, you find yourself second-guessing texting your date that you had fun… because you don’t want to seem weird. And yes, I know this because I was that person. I see my friends doing this. We all play into our insecurities, and these games are the exact way that we protect ourselves from dealing with the doubt that comes along with dating. But, I’m here to call you out on it, and tell you that games are dumb.

Straightforwardness is attractive
Straightforwardness is one of the most attractive qualities a person can have. It’s so refreshing when you don’t have to second-guess what someone is thinking. I want someone who also doesn’t want to play games. If you had fun on a date, and want to see me again, tell me. If you like me, make it known. I understand that sometimes people aren’t sure what they want in a relationship, but you know what? Tell me that. Why? Because at least I can navigate how I feel about that situation, and determine what’s best for me. So, tell the truth, and be straightforward about your intentions.

People who are scared off because you seem too eager are not worthy of you
Look, we’ve all been there. You start to talk to someone and love the back and forth banter for days, but then say to yourself, “I’m not going to text first, it’s their turn.” Wait, what?! Their turn? Why? Generally, it’s because you don’t want to seem too eager and scare them off. Well, this is dumb. It’s dumb because you deserve better than a person who is scared off by text messages, or a phone call, to ask you out again. What’s going to happen when real, actual conflict happens? Ugh, I can’t even imagine. Nonetheless, you deserve someone who actually enjoys talking with you, and appreciates you and your “Morning, how’s your day starting off?” texts. You simply deserve the best.

Games are a waste of everyone’s time
Dating is hard enough as it is, and we don’t need to make things more complicated. By playing games, we’re just simply wasting time, when we could be with a person who likes the fact that you’re not toying with their heart. Doesn’t that sound nice? Cut the crap by texting them when you feel like it, or asking them on a date again because you want to see them. Ultimately, cutting to the chase makes it easier to make decisions on how you feel about the other person, instead of getting your hopes up about something that is dragged out, and isn’t really there. Make it known: you’re not trying to waste your time or their time.

You’re being unfair to yourself and the other person
If you play the dating games like many do, you’re doing yourself and the other person a disservice. Give yourself a chance to do things right, and be honest with yourself and the other person. If you don’t feel like you’re making a connection with that person, please don’t ghost them. Simply tell them that you don’t think it’s working out, but you wish them the best. Wouldn’t you want to be treated the same way?

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