As millennials, we know that it’s the biggest blessing and the biggest curse to be as connected as we are.
Especially when it comes to dating.
When we need information about someone, we have it at our fingertips. But, when we don’t want to know what someone is up to at all hours of the day, well… that information is still right there for the taking. So, when you freely take it… that’s when things can get dangerous.
Though it is not easy, I advocate for disconnecting when you need to, and not feeling badly about it, either. It’s also important to understand and accept that disconnecting isn’t easy.
Take, for example, getting to know someone. Most of us, when we are first getting to know someone who we think we might be interested in dating, try to get as much information on that person as we can. But then you find yourself on your crush’s roommate’s dad’s Facebook at 3 a.m. (hey, don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it… JUST KIDDING! DON’T TRY IT!) At that point, you should consider reevaluating your need to know everything. There is such thing as knowing too much. My advice: Get yourself off there. A good, old-fashioned date can do the trick.
Or, on the complete opposite side, take breaking up with someone. You might feel like the weaker person when you unfriend someone who you are upset with. You might consider it petty to delete all of the pictures of you and your ex from your Instagram page. Or you might be worried about someone saying you are pathetic for constantly checking if someone watched your Instagram or Snapchat story.
Sometimes, it’s just really difficult to constantly be seeing what someone else is up to.
Or having people constantly question what you’re up to. My advice: delete, delete, DELETE exes after a breakup if things did not end on okay terms. Or, if you just find yourself checking their social media pages a few too many times a week. No excuses needed other than your own well-being.
I find that because I am so connected, there is evidence of people I’ve had in my life everywhere, even if they’re no longer in my life.
So, delete the picture of your ex that you keep sneaking a glance at to decide if maybe you were taller than him in those heels.
And the stupid selfie video that you listen to just to remember how cute her voice was.
Get rid of it, and don’t look back. Don’t pretend that your habits are healthy when they’re not, because you’re not doing yourself or anyone else a favor.
It’s hard to know when to delete someone from your life, and when you decide to do so, it’s hard to feel comfortable with it. There are so many places that you can find one person: Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, your message logs, even your email (old school, I know). So if you do decide that someone needs to be gone, or that you need to stop looking at something, there is one hard and fast rule: you must commit.
Don’t leave one Instagram, don’t leave that Snapchat in your memories where you know it’s hidden but no one else does (because you know it’s there… you know).
To reiterate: it’s okay to delete. In most cases, it’s better. Not when you’re deleting things out of spite, but when you’re deleting things or people who bring out the worst in you.
Because some things are unhealthy for us to keep, or to keep looking at.
Your unhealthy habits need to die. You need to treat yourself better than that.