When You Can't People

When You Just Can’t People, But You Have to

Adulting, Author: Mary Grace Donaldson

I’d be lying if I said I was over all of it, but I’ve had to keep on doing life. I’ve had to keep dealing with people.

I’m tired all of the time. Distracted. Not able to fall asleep. Unable to wake up. Forgetful. Careless. Running on a diet of caffeine, fast food and whatever I can just throw together (not like I don’t love food or coffee, but I’m not in college anymore, either).

And sometimes, I just don’t feel like dealing with people. Unfortunately, when you have a full-time job and a side hustle, you don’t have a choice.

Part of what’s happened has a lot to do with people disappointing me — and because I feel like my life is spiraling away from me and I’d better catch it and hold it all together, I’ve been trying to control every aspect of it imaginable. But as it’s been recently pointed out to me lately… if I try to control too much, I’m not going to succeed at anything.

But what I’ve also noticed is that my tolerance for people is so low, to the point where I’m avoiding situations instead of being proactive about them. That doesn’t help anyone or any aspect of my life — whether it’s at my job, with #NAMB, with my community work or even within my family and social circles.


So, what can you do when you just can’t “people?”

Don’t look for negative motivation to deal with the situation. It will only cloud your outlook.

Reward the small milestones. Do small things that can make you happy.

If you need to block out the bad thoughts for a bit to concentrate on work or on the task in front of you, it’s okay. You’re not burying your feelings — they will undoubtedly be waiting for you when you get home from work.

I’m definitely guilty of not following my own advice here, but don’t take out your anger and sadness on real friends, co-workers (they are a part of your office life and are not going anywhere), your family, or, say, your blog brand manager (have I mentioned how Michelle has heard every version of these stories I could possibly tell?).

Make lists. If you can’t focus and are so consumed with ruminating over how certain people have disappointed you, I find they’re a great way to put you back on track. I discussed how important lists are when getting ready for the holiday season, but they’re equally as important now.

Don’t forget about self-care. Whatever your definition of it is.

Know you’re not alone. You’re not the only millennial alive who woke up today feeling unable to deal with other humans. It’s okay. I’m here for you.

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