Can We Handle Being Lied to?

Adulting, Author: Michelle Ioannou


What do you do when someone lies to you?

Actually scratch that. Let’s elaborate on that more. What do you do when the person you trusted more than anyone else — the person you trusted with your life — the person you opened up to more than anyone, lies to you?

You end up hurt. That’s the obvious answer. You’re betrayed. You feel worthless. You feel disrespected, undervalued, and you don’t know what to believe anymore or who to trust.

I’m sure we’ve all been there. You trusted someone wholeheartedly. You finally let your guard down. And then all of a sudden it comes out — the lie. The fact that this person was doing something behind your back and lied about it.

How do we forgive this? Can we forgive this? I don’t have an answer to the first question, but as the strong Greek Orthodox Christian that I am, I know that the answer to the second question is yes. But I’m not going to get all biblical and religious on you, don’t worry.

Relationships — whether they be romantic wise, friendship wise, family wise or even work wise, are built on trust. There’s a sort of beauty in trust — knowing that you can believe the person you’re talking with or dealing with, knowing that you can tell them things and knowing that they can tell you things as well.

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Trust takes a lot of time to build, but can be shattered in an instant. And after that trust is shattered, what is there to do? You can’t just automatically start to trust someone after they’ve betrayed you. How do you build this trust back? Can you?

Trust is a beautiful, fragile thing that we shouldn’t take lightly, millennials. If someone puts his or her faith and trust in you — whether that someone be a significant other, a parent, a sibling, a friend, or a boss — don’t betray it. It’s really not worth it in the end, I promise you. And if it is worth it, that relationship, whatever it may be, is not meant to last.

Don’t let all of this discourage you, though. Yes, trust is a scary thing. But having people in your life you can open up to, be yourself with, and confide in is truly a beautiful thing that everyone should have. Just always remember to take that trust seriously. There’s someone counting on you, and they’re someone that you can hopefully count on too.

Knowing who to trust isn’t easy. Figuring out how to trust someone again after they’ve betrayed you isn’t easy. But this is all part of adulthood and at one point or another, it’s unfortunately something we all have to deal with. No, it’s not easy. And yes, it hurts — it hurts so bad — when it happens to you. But that’s life.

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