Cut the Crap, Speak the Truth, Say How You Feel

Ah, millennial dating. We know, we know, you’ve seen a lot of posts about it. But the point I am about to make here is exceptionally important — and not just for millennials, either.

Remember back when we were in middle school and it took three separate emissaries to tell someone that you “like liked” him or her? Sometimes it took a note, a passive-aggressive AOL member profile with song lyrics or the old standby…the cootie catcher.

But at this point, whether we like it or not, we are adults. The time for emissaries has passed and it’s time for us to step up and tell that person exactly how we feel.

If only it were that easy.

Sure, it’s easy for some of us, but that’s not to say that it’s easy for everyone to be honest about feelings for another person. And that’s especially frustrating for those of us who don’t want to beat around the bush.

There are a number of people in my life who have theories as to why I’m “still single” — and while I firmly believe that it’s okay, one of the reasons why I know that I’m “still single” is that I want to say exactly as I feel to another person. I want to text first. I want to say that we should date. I don’t want to have to worry about “coming on too strong” or about choosing my words extra carefully as in the card in the photo above.

But since others choose to make it complicated, I very often say nothing.

It shouldn’t be so complicated. We truly shouldn’t need emissaries anymore to express our feelings, or play games with another person. If my feelings for another person aren’t reciprocated, I would much rather have it said to my face than to have to go through a two week period of superficial texting followed by being ghosted…and left wondering. Sure, I’d be sad in the moment, but the truth wastes less of my time than two weeks of “talking” to someone.

So, please, millennials — and non-millennials, too (because I can see this tradition continuing into the next generation)…stop with the games. Say how you feel.