Love. Let’s talk a little about love.
You either groaned when you read that, or you smiled. Well, groaners, I’m one of you. I groan at the thought, sight, taste, smell, etc. of love. No, this is not because I just got out of a bad breakup — I mean I did get ghosted a couple of months back, but that’s a whole other story for a whole other time.
Love has been a bigger part of my life this past month or so more than I ever intended it to be. No, no, before I go any further, I did not find the love of my life and we’re not going to end up happily ever after, I am still very much single (sorry mom), but my past month has been quite interesting to say the least.
And, well, that’s where love comes in.
Recently, I have had one of my good friends tell me that he loves me. Wow, right? I’m definitely flattered, confused, and content all wrapped into one. Now, I know what you’re thinking — did I say it back to him? No, I didn’t. I’ve never really been one for feelings (but really, I’ve ran from every “so what are we?” talk ever brought up to me), and I can’t just automatically turn that switch on right now. Plus, in the words of Haddaway, “What is love?”
Speaking of what is love, that leads me to my next point in this: the plot twist, in which I truly don’t know what love is.
What’s a good story without a plot twist, right? Well, here it is. In the midst of telling me that he loves me, I find out via social media (ugh, I know) that he’s been seeing a girl. Woah. I get it, I do, we’re not together, I never gave you any reason for you to think something would happen between us, and you need to live your life. I truly do get it, please don’t get me wrong.
But, I can’t lie either. I’m thrown for a loop. Not only do we talk daily, and this has never been brought up, but I had been told for weeks that I’m the one he loves. No mention of anyone else.
Well, how can you be so in love with one girl, but still be seeing another girl for weeks?
That’s my question, millennials — and unfortunately, I’m still working on trying to find the answer to it, while trying to figure out my own life as well.
Now, why am I sharing this with you all? Because I want people to learn from my experiences. I want those of you who read this and have dealt with something similar to know that you’re not the only one trying to figure this out. Know that it’s okay to be confused. Know that it’s okay to be angry. And know that it’s okay for you to hurt. It’s all part of life, and all things that we will overcome.
We come from a generation that wants things instantly — answers, happiness, love, relationships, and unfortunately, that’s not always the case. We end one relationship, or “talking to,” or “thing,” or whatever you want to call it, and we immediately hop right back on Tinder and right into another one.
Our lives become messy and chaotic, and we just want the chaos to end, rather than trying to figure out why it’s happening and what’s causing it. Things don’t go the way we expect them to, we face a plot twist, and well… not only do we have to deal with them head-on, but we need to prevail as well. We want to ignore the things that don’t work out in our lives, pretend they never happened, but instead we need to figure them out and learn from them.
There is one thing I know for sure — I’m going to need some time to figure this little mess out.