I was late to the Veronica Mars party in discovering her story, becoming a fan shortly after the show was cancelled. I quickly discovered that I was a fan of the assertive, feminist only child super sleuth (portrayed by the incomparable Kristen Bell) who had to grow up too soon. In fact, I’d found a fictional soul mate.
Intimacy can be difficult for those of us who crave independence — and Veronica, who was not short on gentleman callers, showed those of us who are rooted in similar fears just how to overcome said fears time and time again. At the same time, she also showed how once she committed to loving someone, there was nothing that she wouldn’t do to protect that person.
Here are some notable examples of dating advice we can take away from Veronica’s situations:
To Veronica, it didn’t matter if you were wrong or right – if she loved you, she did whatever it took to help you
For crying out loud, she hid Duncan and his baby when the baby wasn’t even hers. She knew that Baby Lily didn’t deserve a life with her Westboro Baptist-esque maternal grandparents but rather, a life with her father. And in that vain, she helped Duncan, whom she knew she’d never get back together with, and Baby Lily get away. Because that’s just how much she loved Duncan. That’s loyalty you can seriously aspire to achieve.
Veronica was clear on her zero tolerance issues
And you should be, too. When Logan didn’t confess to sleeping with evil demon Madison Sinclair, Veronica had zero tolerance. When Troy Vandergraff tried to return to his pre-drug rehab days, and kept his return a secret, again she had zero tolerance.
Veronica was 100% faithful
No matter how many gentleman callers she had, Veronica never strayed. Well, okay. She was still with Deputy Leo when she and Logan kissed the first time during Season 1, but she fessed up and broke it off with Deputy Leo almost immediately thereafter. She even admitted that she was a “train wreck” with a love life that felt untouchable. The lesson here? Don’t cheat on your significant other, plain and simple.
It was imperative for Veronica to be with someone who took care of her — even when she didn’t realize it, and she didn’t want him to
A couple is a partnership, and one person shouldn’t take care of the other exclusively. Veronica was willing to overprotect each of her significant others (whether that significant other was Duncan, Logan, Piz or even Deputy Leo), but they were all, in their own ways, willing to protect her.
Logan hired a bodyguard to protect Veronica during Season 3 when the Hearst rapist had the student population on edge. Duncan repeatedly defended Veronica to his own sadistic mother. There are multiple additional examples throughout the course of the series, but I think the point is made. Veronica didn’t want any of her significant others to take care of her, but she deserved to be taken care of, and the gentleman callers who truly loved her recognized that fact. Find someone who recognizes that this relationship thing you’re in is very much a two-way street.
When Veronica went through a brief period in which she didn’t want to date anyone, she didn’t let anyone force her, and she didn’t crawl into a corner once she dated again, either
Remember the infamous “Around The World” party of Season 3? Parker wanted Veronica and Mac to “get out there,” but our heroine and her loyal sidekick wouldn’t have it — at least for the moment. If you’re not ready to date…if you’re still getting over that breakup…no one should ever force you to get back in the game until you’re ready.
As with dating advice from Friends, keep in mind that these situations are fictional, but they are written because they are relatable to real life.